Succumbing to Temptation

We parted so suddenly. It had to happen. How I loved you! All the more because you and I should never have crossed paths, my lips should never have tasted your sweet delights! You are forbidden, I knew and yet I indulged. Oh it was wonderful, that short, amazing time I had you where I didn't have a thought for anything else but you!

But it was wrong, it was sinful, with every taste, I felt shame and pain! So I walked away from the temptation. It was the hardest thing to do. I couldn't deal with guilt I felt. Then you left and I pined.

I thought about you all the time; how could I not? You were my guilty pleasure and my comfort. I knew it was wrong, but I longed for you. For my sanity, I had to forget. I turned to work, to exercise and to focusing on my health. Oh, I became healthy, I lost weight, I took care of myself, I became a normal person again, no longer obsessing over the forbidden fruit. I became happy, and I thought about you less and less.

And then you returned. Suddenly you were here, in front of me looking as delicious as always! I tried to ignore you. I tried very hard. I went out of my way to avoid you so that I wouldn't have to think about you. But that day in the break room at work, when you showed up, I knew it was a lost cause. I didn't even fight the temptation! It was so wrong but I no longer cared. Like an addict, all I could think about was the taste, that moment when my lips wrapped themselves around you. Just once, I told myself. Just once.

You were as I remembered, sweet, so so sweet, so smooth, tingling all my senses! I knew then that I couldn't stop at just once. Oh, I knew how weak I was when it came to you. I knew now that I had lost the battle again.

I gave in. I picked up the phone, text my friend Sandy and asked her how much a case of you would cost. Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies!
"Thanks so much for the order," said Sandy. "but what the hell are you going to do with a case of thin mints???" she questioned.

Eat them, my friend. Eat them all!

Happiness Is.......

What is happiness?

I guess it's different for everyone. For some, happiness seems to come easily. They are the blessed souls that seem to have a positive outlook on everything. Very little gets them down, and if it did, they seem to bounce back very quickly. They are to be envied. For most others, it's a little harder. They are the "can't see the woods for the trees" type, focused on the now with laser intensity. But they too, once they relax themselves, get to that happy place relatively quickly.

For some folks, happiness is in a bottle or two of vodka or whatever their drink of choice is. Sober, life seems so overwhelming, I suppose. I wouldn't know. The only thing that happens to me when I drink a lot is that I get queasy or really sleepy. I drink occasionally and even then I nurse my drink. But I do get the chance to observe the mood changes around me when others drink. Some get silly, others mean, some depressed. But we're talking about the happy ones. I guess they are the ones that eventually end up as alcoholics. Escapism.

Then there are those who need medication to reach happiness. I rather cruelly but jokingly refer to that as the chemical lobotomy happiness. I can do that because that's me. I suffer depression and I'm not ashamed to admit I need help getting to my happy place. Although there are some emotional issues, a lot of it has to do with the body's chemical imbalance. One little pill once or twice a day and I can see beyond the irrationality of the dark oppressive emotional thoughts and feelings and instead analyze logically where and what the issues are. I am hoping this is a temporary thing. A hormonal imbalance or whatnot, but I'm okay with medication for the long term if that's what it takes.

So, where does one find happiness? I guess if I can find the universal fit all answer, I'd be rich beyond my wildest dreams.

Parents will tell you they find happiness in their children. In the innocence of their little baby as it sleeps, their lovely daughter as she plays with the pets without a care in the world, the son as he grows from a boy into a man. Happiness and pride. Teachers will tell you they get true and deep happiness when they come across that one gem amongst the kids they teach; the one that, with careful nurturing and guidance can go on to make a difference in the world. They also say that of their old students returning to visit after going off to the next step of their lives, remembering the teachers and their contribution towards the current success they enjoy. Again, happiness and pride.

You have ugly people though. There are those that find pleasure and happiness at the expense of others. They are no better than thieves, knowing their actions would cause unimaginable hurt, whether physical or mental, and not giving a damn. Stealing, if you will, the joy and peace of another to feed their own egos. They are the ones that vindictively choose to place themselves in a position to ruin a career, split a family, sabotage a friend, cause irreparable harm, all for the sake of their selfish desires, poisonous pride and toxic happiness. I firmly believe that eventually justice catches up with them. Those are the people I have no guilt about when feeling schadenfreude. A certain Bus comes to mind.....

Happiness can also be found in the simple things in life: a good book, a new or tried and tested recipe, The smell of a fresh peach, that day in autumn when you first realize that the air is crisp and mother nature has burst forth gloriously with her vibrant golds, reds and oranges, a run on the beach.

But for me, today, right now, happiness is found in my amazing and incomparable husband, my Fur Children and my dearest and closest friend, all of whom have given me so much; really so much more than I dare to deserve.

However, my true euphoric happiness today came from winning those gorgeous designer shoes at a dirt cheap price on Ebay! Hence, if I am to be believed, Ebay is the source of true happiness!

I'm sure my seller will take that to the bank!