So, it's 5.39 pm the day before the race. I have just lost my battle with microscopic monsters and have succumbed to the "common" cold (I can't even get a posh cold. No, just a common one). The sniffles, the cough, the congestion, the runnies, yep, I have it all. I've tried so hard to fight it, really I have! I have chugged copious amounts of vitamin C, D3, zinc, echinaecia, goldenseal, more zinc, elderberry and blackcurrant extracts, to the point where I was certain I would die from supplement overdose before catching this frightful "common" cold. And yet, here I am, with a trail of wadded up, germ infested tissues in my wake, feeling like the miserable sod that I am and feeling very sorry for myself. But that's not all. Not by a long shot!
Jamie, my dear friend, neighbour and colleague, and I decided to do our bit for the environment and cut our greenhouse gas emissions by carpooling whenever possible. We were very proud of ourselves for taking this step towards reducing our carbon footprints. Little did we know that I would pay dearly for this. That nasty, ungrateful bitch called Mother Nature (yes, the same evil cow that gave me these "perfect" child bearing hips that will never fit into anything smaller that a size 6, but not an ounce of desire to bear children!!! Really, can anyone else see the irony?) decided to send a major artic blast down all the way to Florida (FLORIDA!!!), with the coldest day being RACE DAY! Yep, because of me (and Jamie), global warming has been reversed, and we are now in the middle of the coldest winter in 30 years. Oh whoppee! Don't get me wrong, I love the cold weather, I really do, but on RACE DAY?? With the "common" (not posh) cold??!! This joke is getting cruel!
Guess, what? I'm not done yet. Nope. I have one more! My icing on this Cake of Crap: my "woman's pride and joy" decided today was a perfect day to start. Yes. That's right. Today, just in time for the most uncomfortable "period" to be on RACE DAY!!!!
So let's recap: I catch the "common" (because I'm not worthy of a posh one) cold and now sound and look like a patient from a TB Sanatorium; my run starts at 0730 on what will probably be the coldest morning of the year; and the most delightful part of this whole fiasco, my "woman's best friend" shows up! To cheer me on, no doubt, in all her scarlet glory!
And tomorrow, with all of my baggage, I shall be there at the starting line and I will run that race and finish my part. And, if history is to repeat itself, it will end up being one of the more exhilarating runs I would have done to date! Life is quirky that way.
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